Understanding a Mother's Love

In our lives, we seem to treat the people who love us the most the worst. Some of you reading this may quickly argue that this is not true or applicable to you. What I would ask you to do is think back clearly without being bias and be truthful to yourself. Is my statement false? Whether your answer be yes or no, I still encourage you to read the rest of this article. Now of these people who love us the most, I would put the mother right after God. Apart from God’s love for humanity or mankind, a mother’s love specifically for her children stands out far greater than any known even exceeding the love between couple or a man’s love for his country.

Great poets and writers have written so much about the love of a mother for her children in every culture, race, religion, country and age. I remember very vividly an old eastern folk tale about a mother, her son and the son’s girlfriend. For the sake of understanding, let’s call the mother Mary, the son James and the son’s girlfriend Esther. One day James goes meet his girlfriend Esther. A conversation breaks out about how much James really loved Esther. Esther questions James if he loved her more than anyone else in this world. James answers yes but she is not convinced. Esther starts to accuse him that he loved his mother more than her. James tries to explain that his love for his mother was different then his love for her. Esther is still not persuaded. She challenges him to bring her his mother’s heart as a gift to prove his love. James is very saddened to hear such a thing but at the end agrees. He goes home and while his mother is fast asleep, he takes a knife and cuts her heart out. Then he runs as fast as he could to meet Esther with his mother’s heart in his hands. While passing through the forest, he trips over a large root and falls hard on to the dirty ground. As he falls, he loses his mother’s heart. He quickly picks himself up and starts looking all over the place intensively for his mother’s heart. Finally he finds it hidden under some dirt and leaves. He picks it up and starts to wipe the dirt of it. Suddenly a voice comes out of the hearts saying, “Son are you OK? Are you hurt?” Hearing this, James starts looking around to see who it was. Soon he realizes that the voice came from his mother’s heart. James is filled with remorse and sorrow. He falls down to the ground and starts crying bitterly. His own hands have murdered the one person who loved him unconditionally. What an awful thing?

My friends, there are certain things in life that cannot be reversed. There is no turning back. Once done, you live with the consequences your entire life. For James, this was just one of those actions. A son murders his own mother to please a girl, a girl who never loved him to begin with. If she did, she would have loved James’s mother as her own.

I would like to discuss three points in regards to this story. Let us begin:

1. What kind of love is a mother’s love? All kinds of human love whether is be storge (affection), philia (friendship) or eros (physical or sexual) are selfish in nature. Your love for yourself, your girlfriend, family members, community, church or country has some form of self-benefit or strings attached to it. Now I don’t intent to be offensive but lets talk about human love at face value. A boy and a girl may have a relationship just for the sake of sleeping with each other, a couple may get married for the sake of having kids and raising a family together. In a similar way, a mother’s love is selfish in nature also. She is like a family defense lawyer. Come to touch my kids and you might as well loose your neck. Accuse her children of lying and stealing and she will fight back. If the neighbor’s dog bits her kids, she might poison the poor creature. What can I say? She can’t help it! God Himself has assigned her as the internal affairs minister. She is only playing her part in this creation of the almighty filled with brutal, maybe tyrant people as well.

May be I am a little too harsh but see it through the eyes of the mother and you will know exactly what I am talking about. It is she alone; for her family; for her children; against the entire world; at least that’s what she thinks. Thou it is selfish love; it acts as a defense mechanism towards her family especially her children. Touch my children and you are an enemy; truth is bitter than fiction. Now the husband is there put by God to balance this defense mechanism namely a mother’s love. He is there to make sure it remains in harmony, not to upset the peace of the family or society. Now I can understand single mothers being over-protective, cautious, sensitive and concerned for their children, going off the regular margin of norm. But let me say this clearly and I mean every word I say: Men who encourage, provoke and misuse this instinct in their wives are plainly playing dump and foolish. They are in a way adding fuel to the fire. Sooner or later, the family will fall or the men will become the lady of the house. I know that some of you folks understand exactly what I am talking about. Question: Where does God fit in this entire picture? Answer: God wants every Christian including the mothers to replace this selfish human love with God’s love that is called “AGAPE”. According to Romans 5:5, this love was shed abroad your hearts by the Holy Spirit when you received Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and savior and made a decision to follow Him. God’s love does not deal with emotions, feeling, mood swings or chemical balance. What it deals with is the will; our will to seek, see and wish the good of all mankind not just our own children. As humans are to God his children, that God who is called the “Father of Heavenly Lights”, so we also look upon other fellow humans with the same attitude as our own. What I mean is all men as brothers in Christ, all women as sisters in Christ, all elderly men as fathers in Christ and all elderly women as mothers in Christ. This is exactly what Paul taught the Churches. This should be the norm for any Christian, for any child who desires to be shaped into the perfect image of his or her Heavenly Father. Let me finish this point by saying: Mothers embrace God’s love and let it fuel your hearts towards the good of all humanity.

2. What about the rebellious child? In life, you can only know or fully understand the true value of something or someone when it is taken away from you. You may suddenly realize that what you considered a rock was in reality a diamond, what you considered useless was more precious than gold. It might as well have been the only one who encouraged, who cared, who gave their all, who stood by your side when other abandoned you, who loved you beyond what you deserved. Now all of a sudden when that someone is gone, you look back and realize how ungrateful you were, how unthankful you were, what a user you had been, you had not even shown a tiny bit of appreciation. Now if that someone was gone as in being dead, how will you ever get the opportunity to express your sorrow, shame and guilt. One of that someone is a mother. Is she gone? Than I want to say, “I am very sorry indeed." Is she alive? Don’t wait. Is she here? Talk to her. Don’t be afraid; don’t be embarrassed. Mum or mama or mother, say those three simple words, she desires to hear them, “I love you. Please forgive me for all the hurts, sorrows, and pains I have caused you all these years. I never said thank you. Let me do it today, right now. Thank you for being the best mother in the world.” May be a kiss, a hug. Do it. Expressions are important. They mean a lot coming from one who was once lost but now is found. The rebellious child has returned, if not yet, make the 180 degree turn, do it, better now than later. The beloved is returning to the lover. If you are that rebellious child, then remember, there are others just like you. As the old saying goes, “You are not the only drunkard in town”. You are special, if not to anyone else, at least to your mother, the prettiest girl or the most handsome boy in their eyes. Beauty as they say is in the eyes of the beholder. In this case, it is your mother. Let’s go home sweet child. Mama is waiting at the door, in expectation, her eyes are weary from lack of sleep, tears has fallen and dried and look, there is still more pouring out. Yes, if there is one person in the world who really cares for you, I mean really cares for you with their life at stake, boy or girl, it is your unchangeable lover; behold it’s your mama.

3. Mother and Child: Reconciled Finally! To reconcile means to restore a relationship to its original state. The best biblical example I can provide is the fall of men; how the Father sends His only Son to reconcile the world onto Himself; how the Son suffers at the will of the Father even to the point of death. But wait, that isn’t the end of the story. By His obedience, the Son not only restores our relationship with the Father but also brings millions upon millions of more sons and daughters into the kingdom of God as new creatures in Christ. Now the thing about the loving mother and the rebellious child is this: the mother cannot stop loving the child regardless of what he or she does, even the worst gross sin thinkable, some probably unthinkable. This really makes one think of how our Lord Jesus keeps reaching out to his children even when the door is slammed right on His face continuously. But you see our Lord understands the foolishness of His people just as a mother understands the foolishness of her child. There may come a time thou when the mother has to draw the line. The child needs to decide either to respond love for love, or self-destruct. It’s hard, very hard indeed for the mother but sometimes the only solution is to let the child go. Forced love is rape and by no means is a mother a rapist. The child has to learn either the easy way or the hard way. He or she has to make a choice. Remember experience is a brutal teacher. You learn, my God, you learn. Now onto the child I would say; the fifth commandment in the Bible says to honor your mother and father. Paul explains that this is the first commandment with a promise; a promise that all may go well with you and you may live long. Question: Do you want to live long? If your answer is Yes, then the how would be to honor your mother and father. I feel what the child really needs to get into his or her head is the fact that this law is not an option. There are consequences if not applied. Another thing the child needs to understand is that the mother desires only his or her good, good as in all things turning out right for him or her and she cannot just let him or her destroy their lives by his or her foolish decisions. I am not saying that a mother’s decision is always right for the child but is it not right at least 9 out of 10 times. A solid 90% give or take. The child needs to acknowledge the fact that a mother’s love is very personal, caring, authoritative, possessive and maybe to a extend dangerous. Dangerous in the sense of it being or becoming over-protective, over-concerned, over-caring, over-sensitive and the list goes on and on. What I would like the child to remember is this: it’s only because she loves you so very much.


In conclusion, I would like to quote Agatha Christie:

“A mother’s love for her child is like nothing else in this world. It knows no law, no pity, it dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path.”